The Power of Saying Yes To Foster Care

The Oklahoman Op-Ed By Lauren Stanley, Foster Care Specialist
I didn’t grow up knowing I would work in foster care. Like many people just out of college, I knew I wanted to help children and families, but I wasn’t sure what that would look like. Then, through a practicum opportunity, foster care found me. What started as a step into the unknown has become a calling. Today, eight years into my work with Anna’s House Foundation—and three years before that with another agency—I can’t imagine doing anything else.
If you’ve ever wondered whether fostering is right for you, I want to give you an honest picture of what it means—and why it matters so deeply.
At the heart of foster care are relationships. My role as a care specialist is to walk alongside foster families every step of the way. That means monthly home visits, phone calls, texts, court appearances, and sometimes just being the person they call when things feel overwhelming. And they do feel overwhelming at times. Foster care is not easy. But it is meaningful in a way few experiences are.
During home visits, I spend time checking in on everything: how a child is adjusting, how school is going, medical appointments, therapies, sleep routines, and emotional well-being. I also make time to talk directly with the child—asking simple but important questions like whether they feel safe, what they enjoy, and what’s been hard. These conversations matter. Many of the children we serve are going through one of the most difficult seasons of their lives.
But just as important is supporting the foster parents. I ask about their stress levels, what they need, and how they’re coping. Sometimes that means connecting them with resources—clothing, diapers, car seats, or counseling. Sometimes it means helping them find the right therapy provider or training to better support a child with specific needs. And sometimes, it simply means listening.
Over time, these relationships grow into deep trust. I’ve had families call me in moments of frustration, sadness, and even doubt. Being that safe place for them—someone who understands and can guide them through uncertainty—is one of the most important parts of my job. And while the challenges are real, so is the growth.

I’ve watched children begin to heal, to smile again, to trust again. I’ve seen foster parents go from feeling unsure and overwhelmed to confident and deeply compassionate caregivers. There is nothing quite like witnessing that transformation on both sides.
One of the most powerful parts of foster care is something we call “bridging”—building a connection between foster families and biological families. This might look like sharing updates, sending photos, or even meeting in person when appropriate. It requires patience, empathy, and grace.
It can also change everything.
When foster families support and encourage biological parents, it often motivates those parents to keep going—to attend appointments, meet goals, and ultimately reunify with their children. I’ve seen this firsthand. One foster mom I worked with stayed connected with two children after they reunified with their families. That kind of relationship doesn’t just help a child in the moment—it strengthens an entire family for the future. And that’s the goal of foster care: not just to provide a safe place for a child, but to support families in becoming whole again whenever possible.
Right now, there is a significant need for foster parents, especially for children ages 8 to 16. These older kids often face longer waits for placement, simply because fewer families feel prepared to take them in. But they need stability, understanding, and care just as much—if not more.
You don’t have to be perfect to foster. In fact, perfection isn’t part of the job. What matters most is being patient, flexible, and open-hearted. Foster care is unpredictable. Plans change. Outcomes are uncertain. But if you can lead with compassion—for children and for their families—you can make a lasting difference. I won’t tell you it’s easy. It’s not. But I will tell you it’s worth it.
Every child deserves to feel safe. Every family deserves a chance to heal. And every one of us has the ability to be part of that story. If you’ve ever considered fostering, I encourage you to take the next step. Ask questions. Learn more. Reach out. You may just find, like I did, that it changes your life too.