Oklahoma children deserve loving home. Here’s my foster story
The Oklahoman Op-Ed by Daniel DeMoss, foster parent at Anna’s House Foundation
It’s late. The only light in his room is the dim glow of his moon lamp, and I’m standing in the doorway, tired.
He’s sitting up in bed, clutching his blanket, whimpering.
“What’s wrong, buddy?”
“Spiders. There’s spiders in my bed.”
The consoling isn’t working, so out of tired desperation an idea pops into my head. “OK. Let’s check for spiders.”
I turn on the lights. We pull back the blanket with the rocket ships and shooting stars. No spiders. I lift the
pillow. No spiders. I tilt the mattress. “Any spiders?” “No.”
“See? No spiders in your bed or in your room.”
His frown softens.
“No spiders?”
“No spiders, buddy. You don’t have to be afraid. Your room is safe. YOU are safe.”
He climbs back in and sleeps the rest of the night, thankfully.
The next morning he tells my wife, Alison, “I was scared of spiders, but Daniel helped me.”
He calls me Daniel. He’s 3. His sister is 2. They have a biological father, and I am not him. Alison and I are their foster parents. They came to us last August through Anna’s House Foundation.
Before they arrived, a question nagged me. Will they call me Dad? I wanted to be a father. I also knew any foster child would already have a dad, and it would not be me. One day, driving, I sensed God putting another question on my heart.
Do you want to be a dad because you want to get something? Or because you want to give something?
I’m not Dad, but I get to build him the biggest magna-tile tower he’s ever seen. I get to show him he is stronger than he thinks at the playground. I get to make him that 310th peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I get to show him he is kind. I get to check for spiders.
The night the kids were placed in our home, we had no idea what we were doing. Two friends from our church, Ian and Cassidy, brought us dinner. Anna’s House Foundation, our foster agency, trained us, equipped us and connected us to foster families who get what this work costs and gives. They make sure no one does it alone.
I am the father I am because of my wife. Alison has grown into a gracious, creative, determined mother in front of my eyes. She has helped me love these kids the way our Heavenly Father loves us. Without conditions.
One night about a week ago, the little sister was in my lap, reading a book. She pointed to a picture.
“That’s a mommy caterpillar.”
She’d been sorting the world that way for weeks. Mommies and babies. I wanted her to know she had a mommy-shaped love. “Do you know who loves you like a mommy? Alison loves you like a mommy.”
She repeated it.
“Do you know who loves you like a daddy? I do.”
She looked at me and said, on her own:
“You’re a daddy.”
“Yes,” I said. “I love you like a daddy.”
The older one calls me Super Daniel some days. His sister told me, in a rocking chair, that I am a daddy. None of those names is Dad.
But the question was never whether they would call me Dad. It was whether I would be a father to them. The answer is the work.
Right now, there are children in Oklahoma who are waiting for someone to tuck them in at night, celebrate their victories, comfort their fears and make them feel like they belong.
If fostering has ever crossed your mind, now is the time to act. Every child deserves a home where they feel protected, cared for and loved.
Daniel DeMoss is a pastor at a church in Edmond and has been fostering through Anna’s House Foundation since August 2025.